I got an e-mail today from a friend who read my blog and was going to comment there but then chose to send it in the e-mail. It spoke to me very deeply and I wanted to share it in case anyone else needed to hear the same words. Friend who wrote this you know who you are - thank you! You are a beautiful friend who said the right thing at the right time to encourage me and I am very touched:

"I know how you are feeling. My dad was cremated and his ashes were scattered in B.C. somewhere, so I don't have a headstone or anything to visit and have closure. It is tough to know that we will never see our fathers again, or have to travel far distances to feel somewhat close to them. Then I remember, I don't need a tombstone or a place to visit to remember my dad. I can remember him right here. In my head, in my home and in my heart. That would mean more to him than visiting some cemetary, or tree or river, or whatever. We can be angry at our families for keeping our fathers so far away, but in reality, they are closer to us now then they ever were. We think of them every day instead of once a week when we forgot to call, (or whatever, but you know what I mean). Afterall, the only relationship we have with God is in our heads and in our hearts, yet we can feel so close to him at times. I somewhat believe that my father can hear me when I talk to him too. That somehow God relays the messages to him. Maybe you believe that too. After all we are somewhat alike, so I know that you probably talk to your dad in your car when your driving home from work, or when you are getting ready for your day, all while crying for what you miss/ed. (I do it all the time) And praying for him, eventhough he is probably in a place where he doesn't need prayers anymore. I know how you feel today. I care and I hope you feel better. Don't let your step mom take the good away from you that you do have. I love you. "