Hello all

I just got the latest update from my friend Ellen. As you will read it is not looking very good so who ever reads this who prays or even if you don't it may be a good time to start. Please say a prayer for them:

I am ok...a little sad today and barely holding it together but I will be ok...I finally heard back about the neurological stuff and it does not look good...because of the promise Jeff made me make to him about not letting him be this way, I have discussed it with both his mom and his dad and yesterday at the family meeting with the doctors, I had to ask what our options were as far as his future....I gave them the ok to not resusitate him should anything come up again that makes him crash...then I cried and cried and cried....so...not a good day but I cannot dwell on it cause I am teary eyed again as I write this....I will be ok though...dont worry...it is still a game of waiting....god knows how I love that...but we wait...if things change and he starts to make progress then I can change my mind on the resusitation thing. I really dont like having this as my responsibility...I know I will do the right thing for Jeff but for probably the first time ever, I care what other people will think...I dont want anyone who cares about Jeff to think I did this on purpose cause it was easier for me or something, you know? He made me promise not to let him be this way and this decision is the hardest thing I have ever had to make. I know the doctors dont hold out much hope for much more of a recovery then what we have already seen...they said it usually happens with young people within the first two to four days after waking up ( the full recovery if it is going to happen). They also told me that my decision was the most compassionate and caring thing to do...that really made me cry because I really didn't want to do it...I would have loved to be selfish but I am a woman of my word...Jeff and I really talked about this...he even asked me to make sure I still watch out for Johnathan and take him sometimes on our weekends etc. I am so glad he looked at all options and decided for himself because I dont think I could have said what I did yesterday if he hadn't stressed it was what he wanted. I never said I was perfect...every once in a while I would like to be selfish too, you know?

The really shitty part is that he seems to be doing great today...he has been awake for a while today and he watched a movie with me...he is doing most of the things I ask him too, like opening or closing his eyes, sticking his tongue out, and I swear to god he is trying to talk to me...can't make out anything he is saying but he is definately trying...I guess, the way I see it is this...if he shows an improvement...I can always change my mind on what I have said....so for now...I still wait.


There is always the chance of a miracle...right???? Long shot I know but I believe in 'em.

Anyhoo...I just snuck on today (to the internet I mean), so I should be going...I will e-mail again tomorrow.