I am stressed
I am exhausted
I have a face full of zits
I need a nap
I wish I could beam my belongings over to the new place
I do not want to be at work right now
I want weekends off
I want to go to a beach
I want to hug my nephew
I want
I don't want
I am
I have
I know this sounds like complaining but that is not what it is
I just felt like making statements
they are true
I am just utterly exhausted and this move has brought on some emotions that I did not think that it would. It's weird. I cried because I like where I am, change is hard for me. I cried because I could no longer afford to really live alone. I cried because I love my neighbors and will miss them. I even cried because I will miss Max, Brewtis and Lucky my next door dogs. They are not very well taken care of sadly and I looked out for them. I know that sounds dumb but I am used to my routine. I am overwhelmed. I mean it does make me feel somewhat releaved that I will be able to afford to actually eat, or go see a movie or whatever. I love the colour my room mate painted my room. I love that my room is so big. I love that there is a pool at the complex there. See good vs. bad. Happy vs. sad there is just no pleasing me some days now is there. I think once it's all done and over with I will be ok. I just had been so busy that i never stopped to realize what I was doing.
from my perspective.....i am excitedly sad if that makes sense.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Friday, July 21, 2006
So here I sit at work again - takin a little break
For some reason I just went on a organizational tangent and started cleaning up EVERYTHING.
Why can't I have the same energy at home getting ready for my move?
It's hard to share an office with someone who is not on the same "filing/cleanliness" wave length as yourself.
Not saying that she is a slob neccessarily - however I have my way to keep things and they are NOT the same as her ways. So right now I am trying to tackle all of the filing that seems to be piling up in the corner and clear some desk space.
It's hard to believe I will soon be moving again. I need some help so if anyone has a van or a truck and wants to help a sistah out let me know!
I am not sure if I am excited or not really. I mean it is going to really help out in the financial department and at least this time around I suspect there will be a lot less drama then previous room mates have caused (all 3 of them).
I think things are going well here at work lately. I have not really kept you all up to date with what has been going on but there are now 3 supervisors to do all the work that I used to do all on my own so I don't feel such overwhelming stress to get tasks done and my boss actually has been somewhat better at pointing out the good work I have been doing. We have split the employees into 3 teams of 4 - ya I used to be responcible to coach and maintain quality and feedback for 12 employees on TOP of everything else. This change has completley helped me to be able to now get my work done on schedule and in a lot more detail then I used to be able to do. I really am enjoying that because I like to be able to do a job that I can be proud of. My team members are also very content and actually trying hard to exceed branch targets too (which will help me get monthly bonuses - go team!)
Anyway, I have been pretty busy these days getting all that accomplished so I thought it was about time I updated the world lol (well more then just the obvious Bon Jovi updates that is lol)
For some reason I just went on a organizational tangent and started cleaning up EVERYTHING.
Why can't I have the same energy at home getting ready for my move?
It's hard to share an office with someone who is not on the same "filing/cleanliness" wave length as yourself.
Not saying that she is a slob neccessarily - however I have my way to keep things and they are NOT the same as her ways. So right now I am trying to tackle all of the filing that seems to be piling up in the corner and clear some desk space.
It's hard to believe I will soon be moving again. I need some help so if anyone has a van or a truck and wants to help a sistah out let me know!
I am not sure if I am excited or not really. I mean it is going to really help out in the financial department and at least this time around I suspect there will be a lot less drama then previous room mates have caused (all 3 of them).
I think things are going well here at work lately. I have not really kept you all up to date with what has been going on but there are now 3 supervisors to do all the work that I used to do all on my own so I don't feel such overwhelming stress to get tasks done and my boss actually has been somewhat better at pointing out the good work I have been doing. We have split the employees into 3 teams of 4 - ya I used to be responcible to coach and maintain quality and feedback for 12 employees on TOP of everything else. This change has completley helped me to be able to now get my work done on schedule and in a lot more detail then I used to be able to do. I really am enjoying that because I like to be able to do a job that I can be proud of. My team members are also very content and actually trying hard to exceed branch targets too (which will help me get monthly bonuses - go team!)
Anyway, I have been pretty busy these days getting all that accomplished so I thought it was about time I updated the world lol (well more then just the obvious Bon Jovi updates that is lol)
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
I am at the point in my packing where I think that the rest of my stuff is going in the garbage lol
How does one person accumulate so much stuff? I mean I downsized A LOT after my last move just a year and a half ago. I have moved a lot of stuff over to the new place already because my room is done now and I really like it. It's so big! Anyway I SHOULD be utalizing my day off here to get more packing done lol so it's off to hit the showers and to get some more things in boxes!
How does one person accumulate so much stuff? I mean I downsized A LOT after my last move just a year and a half ago. I have moved a lot of stuff over to the new place already because my room is done now and I really like it. It's so big! Anyway I SHOULD be utalizing my day off here to get more packing done lol so it's off to hit the showers and to get some more things in boxes!
Saturday, July 15, 2006
I just realized that I have been very much a slacker in the blogger world these days.
I went to Montreal to see a Bon Jovi concert this week. It was an experience let me tell you.
Bon Jovi general admission tickets with 45,000 people lol. Nickelback opened the show. They are pretty good too but they are wild and use a lot of foul language lol. Shame on them lol.
The concert was at Parc Jean Drapeau. That place is HUGE and dirty lol I had feet that were so gross after words lol never wear flip flops to an outdoor concert.
As always the boys rocked out and the set list was amazing! (you can go to http://www6.islandrecords.com/bonjovi/news_2.php if you really want to lol) I managed to get about 4 feet away from jon when he was singing my favorite song so for that reason alone it makes up for the 4 and a half hour wait in 30 degree weather and the layers of dirt caked on me.
But it's back to work today for me - I wish I could take more time off but hey the rent isn't payin itself here lol - so on that note I need to go and get a bunch of things done before I go to work tonight
I went to Montreal to see a Bon Jovi concert this week. It was an experience let me tell you.
Bon Jovi general admission tickets with 45,000 people lol. Nickelback opened the show. They are pretty good too but they are wild and use a lot of foul language lol. Shame on them lol.
The concert was at Parc Jean Drapeau. That place is HUGE and dirty lol I had feet that were so gross after words lol never wear flip flops to an outdoor concert.
As always the boys rocked out and the set list was amazing! (you can go to http://www6.islandrecords.com/bonjovi/news_2.php if you really want to lol) I managed to get about 4 feet away from jon when he was singing my favorite song so for that reason alone it makes up for the 4 and a half hour wait in 30 degree weather and the layers of dirt caked on me.
But it's back to work today for me - I wish I could take more time off but hey the rent isn't payin itself here lol - so on that note I need to go and get a bunch of things done before I go to work tonight
Sunday, July 09, 2006
what a nice day out today but hot.
It's days like this I do NOT want to go to work -
oh wait - I never want to go to work lol
who am I trying to kid lol
I have to do payroll tonight - thrilling eh?
Anyway it was a great morning over at life church today
I am so excited about the things that we are planning to do with our new building
soak
free store
blogotional
park parties for our neighbors
no one knows just how happy I am I nearly cried listening to all the plans
we need this
it's perfect time
not only outreaching anymore
"inreaching" too
ok enough about that because it makes me think about Bobby wanting to run yelling in the streets "COME TO CHURCH" lol
I can't believe how funny that comment he made was lol
good times
ok done for now must eat lunch before work
It's days like this I do NOT want to go to work -
oh wait - I never want to go to work lol
who am I trying to kid lol
I have to do payroll tonight - thrilling eh?
Anyway it was a great morning over at life church today
I am so excited about the things that we are planning to do with our new building
soak
free store
blogotional
park parties for our neighbors
no one knows just how happy I am I nearly cried listening to all the plans
we need this
it's perfect time
not only outreaching anymore
"inreaching" too
ok enough about that because it makes me think about Bobby wanting to run yelling in the streets "COME TO CHURCH" lol
I can't believe how funny that comment he made was lol
good times
ok done for now must eat lunch before work
Friday, July 07, 2006
Ever have a really random thing happen in your life that makes you feel overwhelmed with an urge to smile and dance and let loose and be free?
Imagine if you will having a nice dinner at the old spaghetti factory with a couple friends you rarely spend time with and then as you exit the building you hear what sounds to be a drum squad - oh fun you think really cool buskers. So you all walk a block down to watch and just as you approach the corner around the corner comes a parade of what looks like club kids in costumes with angel wings and all sorts of get up's waving sparkly ribbons and dancing and laughing and playing shakers, blowing whistels and beckoning you to come join the big parade.
"what is this all about" I questioned one of the passers by
"it's a party"
"but who is running it"
"2 guys"
"but what's it for?"
"just to have fun"
"so it's not for anything or anyone?"
"nope 2 guys just wanted to have a party - we're going to Cherry Beach so you should come"
"I don't get it"
"whats to get it's a party parade"
*thinks to myself ohhhhh duh - a party parade not sure why I didn't figure that out sooner - who in the world has EVER seen a party parade?*
I wanted to get pictures but by the time we got back to the car the party parade had danced it's way too far up the street. But oh man I am so mad I wasn't able to get their pictures - such joy - prolly mostly high but man I wanted to feel as free as that
from my perspective.......i crave to dance to drum beats in the street and not care what anyone thinks about it
Imagine if you will having a nice dinner at the old spaghetti factory with a couple friends you rarely spend time with and then as you exit the building you hear what sounds to be a drum squad - oh fun you think really cool buskers. So you all walk a block down to watch and just as you approach the corner around the corner comes a parade of what looks like club kids in costumes with angel wings and all sorts of get up's waving sparkly ribbons and dancing and laughing and playing shakers, blowing whistels and beckoning you to come join the big parade.
"what is this all about" I questioned one of the passers by
"it's a party"
"but who is running it"
"2 guys"
"but what's it for?"
"just to have fun"
"so it's not for anything or anyone?"
"nope 2 guys just wanted to have a party - we're going to Cherry Beach so you should come"
"I don't get it"
"whats to get it's a party parade"
*thinks to myself ohhhhh duh - a party parade not sure why I didn't figure that out sooner - who in the world has EVER seen a party parade?*
I wanted to get pictures but by the time we got back to the car the party parade had danced it's way too far up the street. But oh man I am so mad I wasn't able to get their pictures - such joy - prolly mostly high but man I wanted to feel as free as that
from my perspective.......i crave to dance to drum beats in the street and not care what anyone thinks about it
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
It's been a few days since I last made an entry and I have been feeling like I should put something but I am not sure what to say lol. I don't have as busy a life as Rox or exciting things happening like Angela or twins to brag on like Stacey - so what should I talk about lol.
I still see no change in my eye sight since the surgery. I guess these things take time and I should not get ahead of myself but I think I sort of thought it would be pretty much right away.
Work is a very frustrating place and I know that I blog about it a lot but I really am not sure what to do about it. I gave up looking for another job because I was not getting any responces. I do feel like I am taken advantage of and what exactly do you do when you keep asking and asking for a meeting with your manager for over a month and keep getting blown off? I feel like writing him an "I don't feel like I am being valued or heard" letter but I don't know if that is such a great idea. Is that something that is better left to a face to face meeting?
I am going to Montreal next week to see Bon Jovi and I am really excited! I felt guilty about spending the money but really what have I done with my summer - nothing. I am not feeling guilty anymore because I have not really gone and done anything for a long time. So I am going to go - have a blast and not feel one little ounce of guilt. Because when everyone else was at wonderland I was working, when everyone else was at Jeff's Pride day BBQ I was working, when everyone goes out dancing, I am answering phones so it's time for Beth to have some fun!
Now that is not meant to be a pity party at all please don't get me wrong. I am thankful every single day I am employed because I know what it is like to be unemployed. I am just not sure how to fix the issues at work.
ANNNNNYWAY....I think I am going to load some boxes into my car today and drive them over to the new place. I move in like 3 more weeks - YIKES! Man wow - I need to not unpack ever I move so much lol
from my perspective....i'm always on the move!
I still see no change in my eye sight since the surgery. I guess these things take time and I should not get ahead of myself but I think I sort of thought it would be pretty much right away.
Work is a very frustrating place and I know that I blog about it a lot but I really am not sure what to do about it. I gave up looking for another job because I was not getting any responces. I do feel like I am taken advantage of and what exactly do you do when you keep asking and asking for a meeting with your manager for over a month and keep getting blown off? I feel like writing him an "I don't feel like I am being valued or heard" letter but I don't know if that is such a great idea. Is that something that is better left to a face to face meeting?
I am going to Montreal next week to see Bon Jovi and I am really excited! I felt guilty about spending the money but really what have I done with my summer - nothing. I am not feeling guilty anymore because I have not really gone and done anything for a long time. So I am going to go - have a blast and not feel one little ounce of guilt. Because when everyone else was at wonderland I was working, when everyone else was at Jeff's Pride day BBQ I was working, when everyone goes out dancing, I am answering phones so it's time for Beth to have some fun!
Now that is not meant to be a pity party at all please don't get me wrong. I am thankful every single day I am employed because I know what it is like to be unemployed. I am just not sure how to fix the issues at work.
ANNNNNYWAY....I think I am going to load some boxes into my car today and drive them over to the new place. I move in like 3 more weeks - YIKES! Man wow - I need to not unpack ever I move so much lol
from my perspective....i'm always on the move!
Sunday, July 02, 2006
I CAN GO OUTSIDE TODAY
just in time for the LIFE BBQ at the sawyers!
when I removed those hideous shades everything was so bright I had to put them back on for a bit
isn't that so weird?
you hate them for 3 days and wish them away every second and when you take them away you want them back
Regardless I am just so happy to go outside in the day light!
No change yet in my eye - to be honest the surgery made it worse but I am guessing that is a temperary set back. Doctor said she was optomistic that there would be a significant improvment so I am going to be optomistic also!
just in time for the LIFE BBQ at the sawyers!
when I removed those hideous shades everything was so bright I had to put them back on for a bit
isn't that so weird?
you hate them for 3 days and wish them away every second and when you take them away you want them back
Regardless I am just so happy to go outside in the day light!
No change yet in my eye - to be honest the surgery made it worse but I am guessing that is a temperary set back. Doctor said she was optomistic that there would be a significant improvment so I am going to be optomistic also!
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