sometimes I don't understand god's plans
sometimes so many things just don't seem fair
I cannot understand how horrible it would be

my friend from college and his wife had to watch their 2 year old daughter emma die today
suddenly
at their home
she was playing with a ball
she choked on it

the ordinary right now seems so grusomely extraordinary

I am filled with heartache for what they must be going through
prayers hardly seem like enough

from my perspective...i am questioning reason

Well I drove Crash to the Vet today and it was very hard to leave her there. She is being spayed this morning and I really am not sure what to do with myself as I wait to go get her this afternoon. I hope everything goes ok but all I could think about while I drove away is her little face looking through the cage bars like she was in a little prison and how scared she was and meowing at me......WAAAAAAAHAHAHA it was a little heart breaking really but I know it has to be done other wise I will most likely become the crazy cat lady way sooner then I should and from what I hear if they go into heat they are incredably loud and crazy and I don't want that either. I know it is right by why does it make me feel so darn guilty. Sigh.

Well Happy July everyone! I am noticing more and more how badly I have been slacking in the blog department. I guess there is not much to write about except my job or my cat so I begin to think that would get really boring really fast. I have just recently finished a great book. One that really challanged a lot of ideas that are out there. I personally think there are a lot of ideas and opionions that NEED to be challanged. Anyway, Highly recommend it.

So I thought what the hey I might as well also throw in a recent picture of myself while I am at it lol. I guess I should get back to cleaning up before I have to go back to work - i am exhausted and need a vacation badly