UGH

So Tuesday is going to be so much fun....NOT (you like that Rox? I know I know the 80's called they want their catch phrase back lol)

I will be going to the dentist at 12:10 to get a few fillings and then straight from the dentist to the opthamologist for my eye check up to see if the condition is getting worse - which I feel like it is - sigh - but there is nothing they can do

I dunno I want to have some faith that it will get better or that they will find a surgery to correct it rather then believe and accept that I am just going to gradually lose my sight in that eye

We'll see - no pun intended lol

Just for those of you who wanted to see I thought I would post some pictures of Joanne and the boys for you to see just how much they have grown!

Josh will be 5 in september and Adam will be 2 the next day and baby number 3 will be in early december! They have just arrived back in Ontario yesterday for a visit for 3 weeks and I can hardly wait to see them tomorrow!! Ok I know I just saw them a couple of months ago but if you got to spend any time with them you'd fall in love with them too!

Joshy is just so smart and polite and Adam is the biggest monkey - no fear at all except when mommy leaves him!

Well I guess that I should get to bed so I am not too tired in the morning I am over and out

night!

I like Alfred Sung perfume in very small doses
1 spray and walk through
you know the drill

imagine this
A nice - almost full bottle of Alfred Sung
displayed nicely on a glass shelf in the bathroom in front of the kenneth cole new york bottle
yes - lets show off the 2 expensive perfume name brands
la dee da


now imagine if that shelf were to fall off the wall
for whatever reason
maybe it was tired just hanging around

imagine even further that when it falls nothing else breaks
Except one aforementioned almost full bottle of Alfred Sung perfume - only enjoyed by the owner in very small doses

my house REEKS like an over perfumed woman
come on you all know her
you walk behind her in the mall
get trapped with her in an elevator
sit next to her at work

yes -- her

obnoxiously nausiating
my house is freezing with all the windows open and my head is begining to hurt and I will smell like alfred sung fumes for who knows how long
maybe it's time to move?

I just finished reading a book called Night by Elie Wiesel. This book is the author's account of his time spent being moved from one concentration camp to another in the 1940's. I had to several times remind myself this was not just a story book but these horrific things really happened....It's really very hard to imagine that even today things like this still do happen. I would like to add a few quotes from the author's Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speach. I think his words basically sum it all up and I myself felt moved, challanged, encouraged, inspired by his words:

"...And that is why I swore to never be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must take sides. Neutrality helps the opressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jepardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must - at that moment - become the centre of the universe....There is so much injustice and suffering crying out for our attention: victims of hunger, of racism and political persecution. Human rights are being violated in every continent. More people are opressed then free. How can one not be sensitive to their plight? Human suffering anywhere concerns men and women everywhere...There is so much to be done, there is so much that can be done. One person - a Raoul Wallenberg, an Albert Schweitzer, a Martin Luther King Jr. - One person of integrity can make a difference, a difference of life and death. As long as one dissident is in prison, our fredom will not be true. As long as one child is hungry, our life will be filled with anguish and shame. What all these victims need above all is to know that they are not alone; that we are not forgetting them, that when their voices are stifled, we shall lend them ours, that while their freedom depends on ours, the quality of our freedom, depends on theirs...Our lives no longer belong to us alone; they belong to all those who need us so desperatley."

This was deffinatley not my attempt to be all preachy or get up on a soap box, simply letting you know that I was moved by these words. I am not sure what I - or any of us for that matter - can do to make a difference but my perspective has been shifted. I guess I never before figured that their problem was my problem.....I mean come on I live in Canada - land of the free right? Well anyway it makes me think thats all and that is all I was hoping it would do for you - make you think.

8.5 hours down - 6.5 more to go

no nap
not supposed to be working

yet again fighting a bitterness against my work place
thank god I have a job right

Thank you roxy for zipping by with coffee
how did you remember that peanut butter cookies were my favorite?
The chili is not working so well with my upset tummy from today but I will save it and I am greatful to you once more. You are a super friend and I had a lot of fun with you last night! Then again its always fun times with Beth and Rox or shall I say Dusty and Rusty lol - too funny!

I wish I had of had more then 45 min notice that she would call in sick - I would have taken a nap - brought some movies or at least a book......gonna be a long night if my friend Bobby does not come back to work with some DVD's for me.

Has anyone ever listened to the radio at this time of night on a Saturday? I feel like I have warped into some weird techno time zone and I feel the urge to do the robot dance lol

I miss Angela - sorry that I was not able to talk to you last night but you know how it is with the boys when they want to get going - I'd better go or face their wrath lol love you!

Ok, in case none of you have noticed I am now just typing to keep myself entertained lol I do not care about entertaining you - I think you all should be entertaining me actually

Sweet dreams are made of these
who am I to disagree

gotta go - I am actually starting to drive MYSELF crazy let alone the rest of you lol

hail mary full of grace
the lord is my sheppard
jesus wept

same me lol

must stay awake!

Hmm

so here I sit feeling quite - I dunno - something
numb perhaps?
verge of tears - not sure
I don't know how to feel

So as most of you know my dad died just over a year ago. I barely knew my step mother and after a year of asking - pleading - for ANYTHING that was his and her telling me no it all reminds her of him and she just could not bear to part with it - she even moved and never told us - I tracked her down though......long story short I just came home to a box of my dads things. Nothing worth anything but they are his. I have the carved wooden eagle that I bartered down to 12 pesos for him in the philippines - I remember the little shack over looking the rice terraces. I knew he would love it because he loved eagles so much. I have a couple of light houses that again are maked with a dollar store lable but he LOVED light houses. but I think the most cherished thing I have now which is bringing me to tears as I even think of it is his Bible. All ratty and falling apart but it has his writing in it, little notes he tucked into the pages. I can see and get to know a part of my dad now...his thought about certain things. Which is not feeling quite good enough to me but it is all I have to get to know.

It was such a long and busy day at work and I was frustrated when I got home. Now I am weepy and nostelgic. I am thankful yet sad, happy yet somehow this makes me feel a new sense of greif. But at the same time I feel a bit of closure that I can know I have some of his things and I don't need to keep trying so hard to get her to give me anything.

I made a promise to my dad in a letter the day before his funeral that I would always make sure to always look out for her but I am hurt by her and want to not even bother anymore. I need some time to process how I feel about her.

from my perspective...i feel homesick for my dad

Well, Here I am!
I have gotten some sleep and I am FINALLY making time to write a blog.

Not sure what I feel like talking about.

It's such a beautiful day and now that I am writing I find myself glancing toward the window thinking I should go back outside lol

Nothing much new is going on in my life - same old same old really

Working and doing the best I can to have some kind of a life but with my crappy shift it's really hard. My boss fianally took me off the weekend midnights so that means I can actually see some of you on the weekends again. I am however working the 4-12 shift on saturday and sunday....pfft

I did ask if I could get smoe weekends off and he mentioned that he would try - but I am not thinking that is going to mean too much....his try doesn't seem to pan out a whole lot.

I have been working on charting out my days to try to get the most out of them. So far I am at about 2:30 on Monday lol I have a bit more work ahead of me eh

Ok well I am just rambling on about nothing much so I will stop for now but that is the update for anyone who is interested!

bye

working too much
too tired to blog
will blog tomorrow
wanted you all to know I was still alive

going to plan a games night at my house I think if I can get a good day off
stay tuned

http://www.fighthunger.org/home

Please click this link and take a look! I will be one of the walkers on May 21st.
Shameful plug - please sponcer me - I don't do too much on a regular basis so now that I have set my mind to it I need people to pledge me!

please let me know if you want to - no pressure

but I really want to help contribute to something worth while!

lol speaking of time flying it was may 3rd when I wrote this
sheesh

So I tried to write a blog earlier on today however it would not save for who knows what reason. I had a nice day hanging with Roxy. We went and got our hair cut together and then when I did not love my haircut (which is kinda starting to grow on me) we went and got a curling iron lol

Then We hung out with her family a bit and that is just nice to be around Hans and Cody - so funny to me to be called "Tita Beth" (Aunt in Philippino)

So I just realized - today being may 1st and all, that my nephew Christian is going to be 8 in 15 days. Wow. 8! How in the world does that happen so fast? It does not seem like 8 years ago I help him in my arms and fell madly in love with him - or since he said "Abba" for the first time - he could not say Aunty Beth - He called my mom Gee-ma lol

Well, I hate to get all sappy when some of you I am sure really don't care lol
I guess I am having a moment where it feels like you blink and time soars by kinda leaving you sitting there feeling like someone punched you in the gut and all you can say is "whut the" lol

from my perspective...time goes by too fast